Wedding Times Need help with planning your wedding? Bargain time in 'BUY NOW' section 'JUST4U'

I had a lovely day today with my beautiful daughter, who is 6 months pregnant, when both of us went shopping to look at baby things. That lovely day was mixed with very strong feelings of where I was in my relationship when I was 6 months pregnant over 35 years ago and when I gave birth. The reminder of those days for the first time in years caused me to cry openly in public in front of my daughter as I relayed the story of my life during and after my pregnancy. I was 19 years of age and was in a loving relationship with a real man about town kind of guy, when I found out I was pregnant out of wedlock. Shock horror, because in those days, it was worse than murdering someone or robbing a Bank. So for me a lot had to change in my life and all very quickly, which meant I had to change job, keep the secret of being pregnant from my family and some of my friends and behave normal and arrange a marriage in a very short space of time.

My boyfriend was the first one of us to recognise that I just might be pregnant and he encouraged me to go to the Doctor and find out for definite. So he drove me to a doctor that neither of us knew and told me to ask only one question, which was, “how long would it before it would be obvious that I was pregnant” and he said whatever date he gives you then just before that we will get married – yes that was my proposal too. So in I went and yes it was now a fact I was 6 weeks pregnant and it would be another 6 weeks before I would show. So that was that we had 6 weeks to arrange a wedding without telling anyone what the rush was about. So naturally during those 6 weeks we had to put up with a lot of questioning and wise cracks. The best wise crack of all was the week I was due to get married, my Mum had many a party in the family home for me and as people would call to the house my brother, who did not know I was pregnant, kept saying to everyone, isn’t it terrible the way my sister has to get married. Well you can imagine how I tried to keep sane under that pressure and remain dumb. When I was on my own I used to play a song on the record player over and over again called “Sister Jane” which was about a girl just like me who had become pregnant so perhaps that was my give away, but no he tells me to this day he had no idea. Meanwhile my well married sister was due a baby on the day before my wedding date so she was causing lots of grief for me in trying to get me to pospone my wedding, and loudly proclaimed to my Mum and Dad and the rest of the family how inconsiderate I was and what was the rush etc. So anyway these outbursts from my big sister became intolerable, which left me with no choice but to confide in her and she was fantastic even to the point of telling me that I should not feel that I had to get married and that I could live with herself and her family – she was so kind to me and she then helped to smooth the way for my wedding.

So the wedding day came, and after a slow start, where I cried all the way to the church in the wedding car beside my Dad and when I got to the church my sister had to force me out of the car and stop me crying in readiness to walk down the aisle. Yes down the aisle I walked with my head hanging and tears still falling down my face – this was not where I wanted to be and I knew it but in those days you had two choices – get married or face the probability of adoption. Inspite of such a shaky start we had a wonderful day, which included a visit to the Maternity Hospital to visit my sister who had a baby boy the day before my wedding as planned. There was a funny incident at the hospital too as the first person we met, me in the wedding dress and my new husband all decked out in his tweed suit with his white carnation, was a coloured doctor, who on seeing us turned to my new husband and said “Hey man you fast worker”. Then off to the hotel for the wedding reception which went without a hitch. Everyone really enjoyed the day including my Mum, Dad and the rest of the family who were none the wiser.

So wedding out of the way now time to get used to married life, being a wife, and now an expectant parent. I was 19 and my new husband was 24, tall, good looking and a car sales man who was a charmer, but at this stage quite good to me and very supportive. As one month after the wedding I could not keep this secret any longer and made a decision to tell my parents my baby news – wow what a shock that was my mother disowned me and I was forbidden to call to the family home. My Dad was in the same space as well which really hurt me as I was very close to my Dad and missed him lots. My sisters and one of my brothers called to see me with news of home, which was never good, as my parents were still in that space of being ashamed of me and not wanting to know me. Meanwhile my husband was getting on with his life which still involved charming women. Anyway the due date came and off into hospital I went and gave birth to the most beautiful daughter, all by myself, as in those days your husband nor anyone else for that matter was permitted to be present at the birth. The first person into see me was my brother, the second person into see me hours ater was my husband with a girl from work with him to introduce me to her and to tell me that were in a hurry as they were having a party at the house to celebrate his new arrival. Yes me too that is not how I imagined that the new father would behave, so anyway i then spent the next three days crying, and saw my husband only for short visits as he was in a hurry to continue the celebrations with his new friend. So you see my relationship was over at the birth of my first and only child and that is why I wrote this story to make sure that when you are getting married that it is definitely with Mr. Right and you are not mapping out a life of disaster for yourself just as I did.

The good news is that I am now in a wonderful relationship and am so looking forward to the birth of my first grandchild who is starting life with a wonderful united couple who are going to make the best set of parents in a most loving relationship.

So take that test on my weddding site to ensure that you are where you should be How do you know you are with Mr. Right? Life is full of love and thankfully that is where I am at right now, in a loving relationship and I wish that for everyone.