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Your wedding day with Divorced  Parents – what to do?

“http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ana_O’Shea”

It is now Your wedding day and you have divorced parents – how
embarrassing or is it?    What about the wedding reception seating?
You have just got engaged and the main thing that you are worried about
is the fact that you are children of divorced parents and what to do?
Your Dad is an embarrassment and only thinks of himself.
Your Mum is your best friend and in a new relationship, that your
father does not know about.
Wow what a situation and your forth coming wedding is suppose to be the
best day of your life!!!
How can it be?   Easy – here are some hints and tips to help you get on
with preparing for your wedding day and make it the best day of your
life…..
Both of you are paying for the day and you do not wish this day ruined.
So what is your biggest issue – the paying for the day or the fact that
your Dad is an embarrassment?
Let us say that it is your Dad is an embarrassment.  Ok – how do we
deal with that.
Scenario 1:-   Brides’or Groom’s Mum in new relationship while Dad is on his own. Groom’s parents both together.
1.  Remember this is a wedding day for both of you the bride and the
groom – so whether it is the Brides’s or groom’s father that is the
embarrassement then make sure that he is made aware of this.
2.   Get the introductions over with before the wedding day.
3.   Introducing your Dads to the groom’s/brides’ family is not an
issue so let that be the first introduction.
4.   Introducing your Dad to your Mum’s new man and family is going to
be a big issue – but still make sure that this happens sooner rather
than later.
5.   Your Mum’s relationship and how your Dad deals with this is not
your issue, as this is your Mum’s issue so let your very capable Mum
handle the introductions.
6.   Your Mum should arrange to meet your Dad with her partner at the
earliest convenience for both of them.
7.   This subject of introductions to be dealt with by your Mum.
8.   Get your Mum to agree for all three of them to meet socially to
enable your Mum’s partner and your Dad to meet each other, they do not
have to like one another, but atleast this will get the first meeting
out of the way.
9.   This is your Mum’s issue not yours – so put this notion of your
Dad misbehaving at your wedding day out of your mind.
10.  Your (bride or groom) friends and relatives know your Dad of old
and know what he is capable of so there are lots of people available to
protect you from any unpleasantness on the day.
11.  Your Uncles will make great buffers for you – so you have nothing
to worry about.
12.  All you need to do in that case is enjoy the preparations for the
day, which will lead to both of you (the bride and the groom) having
the time of your life on your happy wedding day.
Consider the following seating arrangements in this scenario:-
Perhaps yourself and your groom would like a nice romantic
table for just the two of you at the top of your reception venue with
everyone else sharing round tables throughout the banquet hall.
OR Perhaps round tables for all and let the guests and yourself
sit at one of the round tables and to hell with tradition of having
both sets of parents at the top table.
Put the groom’s parents with the grooms relatives and family.
Place the brides Mum with her partner and his immediate family
(if they have any).

Place the brides Dad with your uncles and family relatives onhis side at their own table.   Place groups of friends together at other tables.In this scenario you may wish to forget about mixing the peopleon the tables – but remember do whatever you believe will work andagain enjoy your Wedding day.
Another plan is that you do not have any named seating and let
everyone find their own seating.
This could work well as the people who are assigned to look
after your Dad on the day will put him sitting in the best place for
all concerned and this will have nothing to do with you.
You have just got engaged and your biggest concern is how to plan the
wedding keeping the situation of your divorced parents in mind.  This
time it is the Dad that is in a new relationship. Easy – your Mum is
your best friend and she only wants what is best for you.
Scenario 2 – Bride or Groom’s Dad in a relationship and Mum on her own, while Mum on other side also on her own as she is widowed.
1.  Most times brides are closer to their Mum’s than their Dad’s so no
harm for you both to go with your Mum when meeting your Dad and his new
relationship.  Even if you are closer to your Dad than your Mum this
suggestion will still work.
2.  This can be a more amicable situation as both being involved does
not leave one parent at a lose end on their own.
3.  Next meeting should be for both sides to meet up including the Dad
and his new relationship.
4.  Seating arrangements will be fine here as the both Mum’s can sit at
the top table (if there is one) while so too can the Dad while his
partner can sit with friends of the family.
Scenario 3.   Both parents divorced yet both in new relationships.
This is the least confusing scenario and one that can be managed very
easily.
1.  Once again you need all couples to meet before hand and this is
something that you can arrange and be present at.
2.  Where it is the Brides parents that are divorced, while the groom’s
parents are still happily together, I have witnessed it where both
parents walked the bride down the aisle one on either side and this
looked ok.
3.  Also at that same wedding as well as the parents of the groom being
at the top table so too were each of the divorced parents and they both
sat on either side of the happy couple as a couple.   Yes this too was
good.  As this showed everyone was involved in the wedding.
4.   Also when it came to the wedding invitations as both parents were
paying for the wedding the wedding invitations were sent out from both
parents inviting everyone to enjoy this moment with them.
When it comes to your Wedding Day you can make it yours and no one can
dictate what you must and must not do.   The main thing is that you
both set up your wedding day to be the best day of your life.   Trying
to consider everyone on the day will end up with no one being pleased.
So remember do your own thing and most of all enjoy what it is you do.
After all this is your ‘I do’ day…..

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